Answering Kids’ Hardest Questions: Does God Love Me More When I Obey My Mom and Dad?

God’s Love Is Perfect

Does God love me more when I obey my mom and dad? As parents, we know what it’s like to have our kids disobey. And it’s hard because our love for them is so complex. It’s so full. Our hearts are bursting with love for our kids, and their disobedience actually really makes us sad. It grieves our hearts.

It can sometimes make us angry. Because we’re not God, our anger is imperfect anger at times, even sinful. But it doesn’t change our love for our kids. In fact, the fact that we’re sad and we get angry about their disobedience is because we love our kids and we want what’s best for them.

It makes me think of the steadfast love and faithfulness of God—this covenant love that never changes. It is so vast and immovable and unchanging that it is hard for us to comprehend as human parents whose love is imperfect, whose love kind of waxes and wanes according to how our kids are behaving.

So if our kids were to come to us and say, “Mommy, do you still love me even though I’ve disobeyed?” we can describe it that way. We can say, “You know, your sin makes mommy really sad. Your disobedience sometimes frustrates me and makes me feel angry. But it does those things because I love you so much. I want you to obey my commands because they’re best for you. But it doesn’t change my love for you. It’s because I love you that I feel these things. It’s because I love you that I instruct you, train you, discipline you. The reality is, my child, it doesn’t change God’s love for you. God’s love is perfect; mommy’s love is imperfect. You can know without a doubt that God loves you because he sent his Son for you—to die for you and for every disobedience and sin. God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom. 5:8)”

That’s really good news, not just for your child, but for you, mom and dad.

Kristen Wetherell is the author of God Speaks to Me.